Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Yahweh, Faithful God
This has been a rough week for us topped off by a sucker punch tonight with a separate situation. The enemy has been hard at work on our family, attacking every front. The temptation has been to give into bitterness and anger and frustration but God reminded me again that He is SO FAITHFUL. He prompted me, after a ton of prayer, to go back to my notes from Sunday's incredible time of worship. We had 2 of the most incredible harvest moons on Friday and Saturday night. I remember being struck by the beauty and the steadiness of those moons shining into the darkness and wondering if all of the busy people racing around noticed that, even through the moon, God is trying to get our attention. That all of creation is CRYING out to us that God is here, He is steady, He is magnificent, He is majestic and that He loves us with an everlasting love! Do you know that He is WAITING for you to come to Him, to cast your cares upon Him and let Him carry you through whatever storm you're going through?! He WILL be your defender. He WILL be your provider. He WILL be your healer. He holds it ALL in His hands....every last teeny, tiny detail.
This past week our church celebrated how God brought us through one of the darkest days that no church should ever go through. A gunman entered our campus, shot multiple people, including a father and 2 young girls from one family. Both girls died. Our church never thought that they would survive that as 13 months prior their lead pastor was involved in a scandal. How does a church survive not one but TWO devastating losses in such a short time? Jim and I were at a different church at that time but unbeknownst to us, God had begun to knit our hearts w/this church. After the scandal broke, one of the worship leaders, in a time of grief, wrote one of the most incredible songs I've ever heard, called "Overcome." The lyrics go like this:
"Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame
Power in hand
Speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out
Light in this broken land
We will overcome
By the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony
Everyone overcome"
After the shootings, this song became the turning point for this church and they CLUNG to the promises that God gave them. He WAS and IS faithful and our church is healed and thriving....yes, thriving! All because God is FAITHFUL!!!
I never knew the story behind that song until later but it became an anthem for me personally not only for each trial that we began to face but the ones in the past. When we were exhausted from trying to get our house ready to sell, while it took seemingly forever to sell, when we were exhausted from moving and no one came to help, when our church went through a horrific scandal, while we were healing from lies & betrayals, when we got our match from China and wondered how would we complete it....oh the list went on and on. And after God joined our hearts w/our new church, how He would bring this song over and over again to let us know that we WOULD overcome because He had brought our new church through horrific events. If He could do that, He could accomplish anything.
There's something about having suffered loss and betrayals and having God bring good out of it and to be with others who have suffered and triumphed....it's the most incredible type of worship for God that you can ever imagine! Sunday as we sang "Overcome", I was overcome by the incredible depth of God's faithfulness in our church and in our family. I sobbed tears of joy as I sang, so incredibly thankful to be one of God's children and SO thankful that He has helped us overcome so much!
This may have been a rough night and rough week but God is faithful! He will be our defender, provider and our healer. So as I see it, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:31-37)
Here was my devotional today. "REST IN ME, MY CHILD, forgetting about the worries of the world. Focus on Me - Emmanuel - and let My living Presence envelop you in Peace. Tune in to My eternal security, for I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. If you live on the surface of life by focusing on ever-changing phenomena, you will find yourself echoing the words of Solomon: "Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" Living in collaboration with Me is the way to instill meaning into your days. Begin each day alone with Me, so that you can experience the reality of My Presence. As you spend time with Me, the way before you opens up step by step. Arise from the stillness of our communion, and gradually begin your journey through the day. Hold My hand in deliberate dependence on Me, and I will smooth out the path before you." (Jesus Calling)
God is no different today than He was before time began. He loves me and He loves you and He is faithful. I know who holds me. Who's holding you?
This past week our church celebrated how God brought us through one of the darkest days that no church should ever go through. A gunman entered our campus, shot multiple people, including a father and 2 young girls from one family. Both girls died. Our church never thought that they would survive that as 13 months prior their lead pastor was involved in a scandal. How does a church survive not one but TWO devastating losses in such a short time? Jim and I were at a different church at that time but unbeknownst to us, God had begun to knit our hearts w/this church. After the scandal broke, one of the worship leaders, in a time of grief, wrote one of the most incredible songs I've ever heard, called "Overcome." The lyrics go like this:
"Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did
All authority, every victory is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours
Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame
Power in hand
Speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out
Light in this broken land
We will overcome
By the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony
Everyone overcome"
After the shootings, this song became the turning point for this church and they CLUNG to the promises that God gave them. He WAS and IS faithful and our church is healed and thriving....yes, thriving! All because God is FAITHFUL!!!
I never knew the story behind that song until later but it became an anthem for me personally not only for each trial that we began to face but the ones in the past. When we were exhausted from trying to get our house ready to sell, while it took seemingly forever to sell, when we were exhausted from moving and no one came to help, when our church went through a horrific scandal, while we were healing from lies & betrayals, when we got our match from China and wondered how would we complete it....oh the list went on and on. And after God joined our hearts w/our new church, how He would bring this song over and over again to let us know that we WOULD overcome because He had brought our new church through horrific events. If He could do that, He could accomplish anything.
There's something about having suffered loss and betrayals and having God bring good out of it and to be with others who have suffered and triumphed....it's the most incredible type of worship for God that you can ever imagine! Sunday as we sang "Overcome", I was overcome by the incredible depth of God's faithfulness in our church and in our family. I sobbed tears of joy as I sang, so incredibly thankful to be one of God's children and SO thankful that He has helped us overcome so much!
This may have been a rough night and rough week but God is faithful! He will be our defender, provider and our healer. So as I see it, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." (Romans 8:31-37)
Here was my devotional today. "REST IN ME, MY CHILD, forgetting about the worries of the world. Focus on Me - Emmanuel - and let My living Presence envelop you in Peace. Tune in to My eternal security, for I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. If you live on the surface of life by focusing on ever-changing phenomena, you will find yourself echoing the words of Solomon: "Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" Living in collaboration with Me is the way to instill meaning into your days. Begin each day alone with Me, so that you can experience the reality of My Presence. As you spend time with Me, the way before you opens up step by step. Arise from the stillness of our communion, and gradually begin your journey through the day. Hold My hand in deliberate dependence on Me, and I will smooth out the path before you." (Jesus Calling)
God is no different today than He was before time began. He loves me and He loves you and He is faithful. I know who holds me. Who's holding you?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Life out on a limb
Gosh, I love God's timing! I've read my devotional a few times today just chuckling to myself and wondering how He does it. How does He ALWAYS know just what we need when we need it?! Well, yes, He is THE God of the universe so I suppose that makes sense but just think about the details. How, with billions of people on the planet, does He inspire someone to write something that hits someone else PERFECTLY on the day or days they happen to read it? And that's just me...what about all of the other people that read this book on perfect days and times specific to them? How DOES He do it?
Well, here's today's devotional and tell me how perfect this is, "BE WILLING to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe. Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign presence protects you wherever you go." (Jesus Calling) I KNOW!!!! As I've been getting closer to this appt. w/Dr. Frahm, I've been starting to feel like we're at a new crossroads. I can turn back to the conventional or I need to really move forward w/the alternative treatments. Or at a deeper level, will I follow God out on what feels like a very precarious little limb and go against conventional medicine or do I disobey and stick w/what feels safer but maybe really isn't because God isn't in it (in my case)? I think we'll be sticking with where God wants us. We might be hanging on for dear life, but I'd much rather be right in the middle of His will for me than anywhere else.
Today was another busy day. We had Jasmine's IEP meeting for preschool today, which I had to leave early to head over to my appt. Dr. Frahm. So his role will be this, to get my body back into balance so that it can do what it was meant to do. If we don't correct why I got cancer, then it will come back no matter what I do. So he tested a number of areas and recommended quite a few supplements for the next 30 days. We'll meet back up after that and he'll retest and see where I'm at. Not surprisingly my liver, colon, thyroid, stomach, ovaries and my adrenals were all pretty out of wack (I'm sure it's a medical term). Step 1. I'm continuing to pray for an MD or DO who can do bloodwork and monitor my tumor markers.
Thank you all for your continued encouragement and prayers on our behalf. Praise God for His Presence and His interruptions that lead us through the most amazing adventures.
Well, here's today's devotional and tell me how perfect this is, "BE WILLING to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe. Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign presence protects you wherever you go." (Jesus Calling) I KNOW!!!! As I've been getting closer to this appt. w/Dr. Frahm, I've been starting to feel like we're at a new crossroads. I can turn back to the conventional or I need to really move forward w/the alternative treatments. Or at a deeper level, will I follow God out on what feels like a very precarious little limb and go against conventional medicine or do I disobey and stick w/what feels safer but maybe really isn't because God isn't in it (in my case)? I think we'll be sticking with where God wants us. We might be hanging on for dear life, but I'd much rather be right in the middle of His will for me than anywhere else.
Today was another busy day. We had Jasmine's IEP meeting for preschool today, which I had to leave early to head over to my appt. Dr. Frahm. So his role will be this, to get my body back into balance so that it can do what it was meant to do. If we don't correct why I got cancer, then it will come back no matter what I do. So he tested a number of areas and recommended quite a few supplements for the next 30 days. We'll meet back up after that and he'll retest and see where I'm at. Not surprisingly my liver, colon, thyroid, stomach, ovaries and my adrenals were all pretty out of wack (I'm sure it's a medical term). Step 1. I'm continuing to pray for an MD or DO who can do bloodwork and monitor my tumor markers.
Thank you all for your continued encouragement and prayers on our behalf. Praise God for His Presence and His interruptions that lead us through the most amazing adventures.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Narrowed perceptions
Oh, had I only gotten in my quiet time yesterday! Perhaps then I wouldn't have felt so discouraged as I did, focusing on the small things instead of focusing on the largeness and hugeness (yup, they're words now) of God. "I AM WITH YOU IN ALL THAT YOU DO, even in the most menial task. I am always aware of you, concerned with every detail of your life. Nothing escapes My notice - not even the number of hairs on your head. However, your awareness of My Presence falters and flickers; as a result, your life experience feels fragmented. When your focus is broad enough to include Me in your thoughts, you feel safe and complete. When your perception narrows so that problems or details fill your consciousness, you feel empty and incomplete. Learn to look steadily at Me in all your moments and all your circumstances. Though the world is unstable and in flux, you can experience continuity through your uninterrupted awareness of My Presence. Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes." (Jesus Calling)
I forgot yesterday that God is in and loves the tiniest details of our lives...that includes how I'm going to get things done, cooking, cleaning, saving for a blender, etc. When I cried out to Him yesterday, He totally came through. I was able to get some organic gf pumpkin flaxseed pancakes made for the next few days as well as a huge bowl of organic salad, as well as several smoothies. Then I got to work on my laundry as well as do some de-cluttering of my kitchen, cleaned 1 of the bathrooms, in between which I shuttled Lily back and forth to school and did a couple errands. Last night after some yummy organic fish taco leftovers, after baths and the girls went to bed, we mostly finished our Christmas decorating. God sure does have unendless energy, doesn't He?! He comes through when we call. I loved it when my devotional said, "I AM WITH YOU IN ALL THAT YOU DO, even in the most menial task." That was so true yesterday. God is so good!
The latest update with my search for the right person or people is that I'm meeting with a Dr. Frahm tomorrow morning. He's written a number of books (2 of which I've been reading) and recently came out w/a book called "The Breast Cancer Pattern." He's local, a naturopathic doctor as well as master herbalist and He's a christian to boot! Please pray for wisdom and discernment as I meet w/him tomorrow. His specialty is working w/cancer patients so even though insurance doesn't cover him, he may be exactly what we're looking and praying for....someone with a plan!
And, for those of you praying for me yesterday, thank you so much! Not only did your prayers make a difference but they really helped get me through a tough day. AND I even sold 1 of my craigslist items! Yay God!
For those of you looking for a way to help us, now is the time! My journey is not over yet, even though I've chosen not to do chemo or radiation. My body is still healing from surgery and so my strength varies from day to day, especially considering the added stress I'm dealing with. We could use help w/meals, cleaning, or even childcare for a date night here and there. There is a link to the left of this blog to a meal site - you can get further instructions/information there. Enter "Young" and the password "8788" and it should pop you to our info. Thank you so much for walking through this journey with us!
I forgot yesterday that God is in and loves the tiniest details of our lives...that includes how I'm going to get things done, cooking, cleaning, saving for a blender, etc. When I cried out to Him yesterday, He totally came through. I was able to get some organic gf pumpkin flaxseed pancakes made for the next few days as well as a huge bowl of organic salad, as well as several smoothies. Then I got to work on my laundry as well as do some de-cluttering of my kitchen, cleaned 1 of the bathrooms, in between which I shuttled Lily back and forth to school and did a couple errands. Last night after some yummy organic fish taco leftovers, after baths and the girls went to bed, we mostly finished our Christmas decorating. God sure does have unendless energy, doesn't He?! He comes through when we call. I loved it when my devotional said, "I AM WITH YOU IN ALL THAT YOU DO, even in the most menial task." That was so true yesterday. God is so good!
The latest update with my search for the right person or people is that I'm meeting with a Dr. Frahm tomorrow morning. He's written a number of books (2 of which I've been reading) and recently came out w/a book called "The Breast Cancer Pattern." He's local, a naturopathic doctor as well as master herbalist and He's a christian to boot! Please pray for wisdom and discernment as I meet w/him tomorrow. His specialty is working w/cancer patients so even though insurance doesn't cover him, he may be exactly what we're looking and praying for....someone with a plan!
And, for those of you praying for me yesterday, thank you so much! Not only did your prayers make a difference but they really helped get me through a tough day. AND I even sold 1 of my craigslist items! Yay God!
For those of you looking for a way to help us, now is the time! My journey is not over yet, even though I've chosen not to do chemo or radiation. My body is still healing from surgery and so my strength varies from day to day, especially considering the added stress I'm dealing with. We could use help w/meals, cleaning, or even childcare for a date night here and there. There is a link to the left of this blog to a meal site - you can get further instructions/information there. Enter "Young" and the password "8788" and it should pop you to our info. Thank you so much for walking through this journey with us!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Rough days
Well, we sure would appreciate your prayers for our family. We've had a few rough days, a lot due to our kiddos majorly acting out, Jim working long hours and a whole lot of spiritual attack. We could really use your prayers for us right now. Being home is nice but incredibly stressful for me, especially w/Jim working late almost every night. Meals, shopping, kids, cleaning, dogs, appointments, etc. all fall on my shoulders. And because Jim works late all the time, our only family time is now on the weekends and because I usually like to try and do my bulk cooking on the weekend, we're either feeling more frantic or I'm not getting my cooking done. You see the cycle. And that's not even dealing w/the constant frustration w/the girls acting out. This week I've really felt everything hit me and I've been so exhausted. On top of all of this, I've been trying to continue my research and hunt down the right person or persons to help get me through the next step. I'm completely overwhelmed right now. The good news is when I'm weak, God is strong. (He must be REALLY strong right now!)
My other prayer request is for financial provision. I'm trying to sell some things on craigslist.com to help me buy a better blender so that I can do more juicing but so far no luck. Please pray that my items will sell soon, that Jim will find some freelance work or his work will finally give him a much needed raise so that we can afford to buy some of these things that I need going forward. Pray also for Jim as he's a lot of ongoing stress at work and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Pray for strength and protection during this season.
It's funny how when you're feeling down and overwhelmed, how everything hits you all at once. A lovely little strategic move by our enemy, no doubt. He never does fight fair, does he? He loves to kick us when we're down. BUT.....I am the child of the Almighty God and He has already defeated this enemy once and for all on the cross and He NEVER fails to provide for His children. Thank God, even when things feel tough and impossible, that God is the God of all things possible! There is no obstacle that is too big for Him to overcome and no problem that doesn't already have it's solution. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
My other prayer request is for financial provision. I'm trying to sell some things on craigslist.com to help me buy a better blender so that I can do more juicing but so far no luck. Please pray that my items will sell soon, that Jim will find some freelance work or his work will finally give him a much needed raise so that we can afford to buy some of these things that I need going forward. Pray also for Jim as he's a lot of ongoing stress at work and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Pray for strength and protection during this season.
It's funny how when you're feeling down and overwhelmed, how everything hits you all at once. A lovely little strategic move by our enemy, no doubt. He never does fight fair, does he? He loves to kick us when we're down. BUT.....I am the child of the Almighty God and He has already defeated this enemy once and for all on the cross and He NEVER fails to provide for His children. Thank God, even when things feel tough and impossible, that God is the God of all things possible! There is no obstacle that is too big for Him to overcome and no problem that doesn't already have it's solution. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Our decision
"I AM THE PRINCE OF PEACE. As I said to My disciples, I say also to you: Peace be with you. Since I am your constant Companion, My Peace is steadfastly with you. When you keep your focus on Me, you experience both My Presence and My Peace. Worship Me as King of Kings, Lord of lords, and Prince of Peace. You need My Peace each moment to accomplish My purposes in your life. Sometimes you are tempted to take shortcuts, in order to reach your goal as quickly as possible. But if the shortcut requires turning your back on My Peaceful Presence, you must choose the longer route. Walk with Me along paths of Peace; enjoy the journey in My Presence." (Jesus Calling)
I can't tell you how opportune it was to have this devotional on this day...the day we made our decision on my treatment plan. I can't even begin to tell you how many hours upon hours upon hours of research that I have done leading up to this day. You've seen the book list (plus 4-5 more that aren't even listed), but the hours of internet research, the variety of people that I've talked with, prayed with....this has not been an easy decision. But ultimately, it all boiled down to where the peace was and the peace was NOT with chemo and radiation. The peace was with the things that God began laying on my heart and path while I was waiting to find out if I had cancer. And the peace lay in seeking HIS Presence and His plan for me. We did notify CTCA today and they will not be managing or monitoring me going forward since I am not doing any further traditional treatments.
"Well, if it's not chemo or radiation, what is the plan?," you may ask. Great question! That will be the next step and we'd appreciate your prayers for us in this for God to line up the right people for this step. What I am NOT going to do is just go about my life as if this never happened. There was a reason that my body didn't and couldn't fight off the cancer cells and if I don't work on figuring that piece out and correcting it, I will probably have cancer again. When I was diagnosed, the first piece I changed was my diet. I don't eat a lot of processed food because I'm allergic to wheat and most processed food has wheat in it. But I still had some things to clean up so I immediately started eating organic, whole fruits, vegetables & grains and went hormone-free w/my meats. I completely eliminated sugar from my diet as cancer feeds off of sugar. I've been incorporating all sorts of herbs and spices into the meals that I cook and every ingredient has a purpose - to fight inflammation (which feeds cancer) and to fight the cancer itself. I've recently begun switching out all of the household chemicals with natural products like baking soda and vinegar to clean my house. I've continued w/my workout program and will amp things back up in January when I've been cleared to go back to hard workouts (post surgery instructions). I'm saving to buy a really good blender so that I can begin juicing in earnest. But I'm not going to stop there either. Now I'm praying for God to bring the right professionals (i.e. nutritionist, metabolic physician and/or naturopathic doctor) who will help evaluate the imbalances in my body and help me address those needs via nutrition and/or supplements so that my body becomes a powerful cancer fighting machine. I still want a treatment plan, a step-by-step plan, but one that is natural that will help build my body back up instead of tear it down. I'm very blessed that I have a wonderful, holistic chiropractor that I have been seeing for several years and she will be playing an integral part in my treatment plan. But I need all of these other elements to come together and we desperately need God to provide financially as most alternatives aren't covered by insurance. But, I'm thinking that since God laid these things on my heart even before I knew, that He already has a plan! Thank God that we don't have to worry over this because He has a plan!
We have had people still ask if there's a way that they can help or bring a meal. Yes! Please pray with us and feel free to click on the link to the left to sign up for a meal. If cooking an organic meal is intimidating, feel free to check out the meal site for other ideas as to how to come alongside of us.
It also occurred to me that I haven't really shared how I am doing and feeling since my surgery. Everything is going amazingly well. Having 1+ months of eating organic in conjuction with having the cancer out of my body has done wonders and I'm starting to get my strength back very quickly. I find that I'm having more and more energy and I feel strong. I'm still having to be careful w/heavy lifting and tight hugs on my right side but the pain has been very minimal and completely manageable. For those of you going through surgery, I HIGHLY recommend ice on the wound area! CTCA was amazed at how little swelling I had 1 week post surgery and I think it was because of ice several times a day.
Well, thank you all so much for walking through this with us and thank you in advance for praying for wisdom and the right people for this next step. God is so good and because He holds it all, none of these steps are too big for Him.
I can't tell you how opportune it was to have this devotional on this day...the day we made our decision on my treatment plan. I can't even begin to tell you how many hours upon hours upon hours of research that I have done leading up to this day. You've seen the book list (plus 4-5 more that aren't even listed), but the hours of internet research, the variety of people that I've talked with, prayed with....this has not been an easy decision. But ultimately, it all boiled down to where the peace was and the peace was NOT with chemo and radiation. The peace was with the things that God began laying on my heart and path while I was waiting to find out if I had cancer. And the peace lay in seeking HIS Presence and His plan for me. We did notify CTCA today and they will not be managing or monitoring me going forward since I am not doing any further traditional treatments.
"Well, if it's not chemo or radiation, what is the plan?," you may ask. Great question! That will be the next step and we'd appreciate your prayers for us in this for God to line up the right people for this step. What I am NOT going to do is just go about my life as if this never happened. There was a reason that my body didn't and couldn't fight off the cancer cells and if I don't work on figuring that piece out and correcting it, I will probably have cancer again. When I was diagnosed, the first piece I changed was my diet. I don't eat a lot of processed food because I'm allergic to wheat and most processed food has wheat in it. But I still had some things to clean up so I immediately started eating organic, whole fruits, vegetables & grains and went hormone-free w/my meats. I completely eliminated sugar from my diet as cancer feeds off of sugar. I've been incorporating all sorts of herbs and spices into the meals that I cook and every ingredient has a purpose - to fight inflammation (which feeds cancer) and to fight the cancer itself. I've recently begun switching out all of the household chemicals with natural products like baking soda and vinegar to clean my house. I've continued w/my workout program and will amp things back up in January when I've been cleared to go back to hard workouts (post surgery instructions). I'm saving to buy a really good blender so that I can begin juicing in earnest. But I'm not going to stop there either. Now I'm praying for God to bring the right professionals (i.e. nutritionist, metabolic physician and/or naturopathic doctor) who will help evaluate the imbalances in my body and help me address those needs via nutrition and/or supplements so that my body becomes a powerful cancer fighting machine. I still want a treatment plan, a step-by-step plan, but one that is natural that will help build my body back up instead of tear it down. I'm very blessed that I have a wonderful, holistic chiropractor that I have been seeing for several years and she will be playing an integral part in my treatment plan. But I need all of these other elements to come together and we desperately need God to provide financially as most alternatives aren't covered by insurance. But, I'm thinking that since God laid these things on my heart even before I knew, that He already has a plan! Thank God that we don't have to worry over this because He has a plan!
We have had people still ask if there's a way that they can help or bring a meal. Yes! Please pray with us and feel free to click on the link to the left to sign up for a meal. If cooking an organic meal is intimidating, feel free to check out the meal site for other ideas as to how to come alongside of us.
It also occurred to me that I haven't really shared how I am doing and feeling since my surgery. Everything is going amazingly well. Having 1+ months of eating organic in conjuction with having the cancer out of my body has done wonders and I'm starting to get my strength back very quickly. I find that I'm having more and more energy and I feel strong. I'm still having to be careful w/heavy lifting and tight hugs on my right side but the pain has been very minimal and completely manageable. For those of you going through surgery, I HIGHLY recommend ice on the wound area! CTCA was amazed at how little swelling I had 1 week post surgery and I think it was because of ice several times a day.
Well, thank you all so much for walking through this with us and thank you in advance for praying for wisdom and the right people for this next step. God is so good and because He holds it all, none of these steps are too big for Him.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Pathology is in!
"PROBLEMS ARE PART OF LIFE. They are inescapable: woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem-solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capacity to fix everything. This is a habitual response, so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking. Not only does this habit frustrate you, it also distances you from Me. Do not let fixing things be your top priority. You are ever so limited in your capacity to correct all that is wrong in the world around you. Don't weigh yourself down with responsibilities that are not your own. Instead, make your relationship with Me your primary concern. Talk with Me about whatever is on your mind, seeking My perspective on the situation. Rather than trying to fix everything that comes to your attention, ask Me to show you what is truly important. Remember that you are en route to heaven, and let your problems fade in the Light of eternity." (Jesus Calling)
Yesterday was my marathon day. I got up at 4am to go head to the airport and fly to AZ for my appointments at CTCA. Yesterday was to be the day that they checked my incision, gave me the pathology results and my treatment plan, meet with my oncology "team" for all of their recommendations and then I was to fly home. My time at CTCA was pretty much an exercise in frustration as they forgot to schedule someone from surgery to take a look at my incision (which, thankfully, they were able to rectify) and I never got to meet at all with the dietician and barely got time w/the naturopathic doctor. But the good news in the midst of all of the frustration is that they got clean margins on my tumor (meaning they got it all) and there is no cancer in my lymph nodes!! Yay God! My tumor was about 2.5 cm, which was about what they thought and that puts me in a stage IIa by 1/2 cm. :-)
The problems for me yesterday were, in part, disorganization related (especially because I had flown into town just for this) but in larger part, they had to do with the proposed treatment plan. Let me preface this by saying that, at least with cancer, the journey (especially the treatment) is a very personal one. When someone is diagnosed, each person must research and decide and pray for themselves what they feel God is leading them to. I know some wonderful, godly people who have felt led down a more "traditional" path and that is good, because they followed what the Lord led THEM to do. For me, I have felt strongly that God laid a path for me before I even knew I had cancer. Our problem has come from the fact that it goes against the traditional medical establishment but is very much in line with some amazing genius doctors who have been curing cancer using alternative methods (NOT fringe quacks). The proposed treatment plan for me is chemo once every 2-3 weeks for a max. of 4 months and then a few weeks of radiation. For some this may be a no-brainer but since we've felt like God has given me a different path, we've really been wrestling (and researching...Hello, book list!) over what other traditional treatments besides surgery would we do. The irony once again is how God has given me answers before I even ask them. He reminded me that morning before I left, in my devotional, to bring everything to Him and let Him show me. So that is what we are doing. Please pray for us as we bring this treatment plan to Him and ask for His wisdom and clear direction in what my next step is. CTCA has given me a lot of mixed messages as to whether or not they will continue to treat me if I don't do EVERYTHING that is suggested so we will cross that bridge when we come to it. The step in front of us is to determine what God's plan is for me next.
Praise God that He holds it ALL, including the plan! We continue to praise God for His healing power on my life and cancer and for each of you who has chosen to walk through this with us. We are so thankful that we don't have to walk this alone. We love you.
Yesterday was my marathon day. I got up at 4am to go head to the airport and fly to AZ for my appointments at CTCA. Yesterday was to be the day that they checked my incision, gave me the pathology results and my treatment plan, meet with my oncology "team" for all of their recommendations and then I was to fly home. My time at CTCA was pretty much an exercise in frustration as they forgot to schedule someone from surgery to take a look at my incision (which, thankfully, they were able to rectify) and I never got to meet at all with the dietician and barely got time w/the naturopathic doctor. But the good news in the midst of all of the frustration is that they got clean margins on my tumor (meaning they got it all) and there is no cancer in my lymph nodes!! Yay God! My tumor was about 2.5 cm, which was about what they thought and that puts me in a stage IIa by 1/2 cm. :-)
The problems for me yesterday were, in part, disorganization related (especially because I had flown into town just for this) but in larger part, they had to do with the proposed treatment plan. Let me preface this by saying that, at least with cancer, the journey (especially the treatment) is a very personal one. When someone is diagnosed, each person must research and decide and pray for themselves what they feel God is leading them to. I know some wonderful, godly people who have felt led down a more "traditional" path and that is good, because they followed what the Lord led THEM to do. For me, I have felt strongly that God laid a path for me before I even knew I had cancer. Our problem has come from the fact that it goes against the traditional medical establishment but is very much in line with some amazing genius doctors who have been curing cancer using alternative methods (NOT fringe quacks). The proposed treatment plan for me is chemo once every 2-3 weeks for a max. of 4 months and then a few weeks of radiation. For some this may be a no-brainer but since we've felt like God has given me a different path, we've really been wrestling (and researching...Hello, book list!) over what other traditional treatments besides surgery would we do. The irony once again is how God has given me answers before I even ask them. He reminded me that morning before I left, in my devotional, to bring everything to Him and let Him show me. So that is what we are doing. Please pray for us as we bring this treatment plan to Him and ask for His wisdom and clear direction in what my next step is. CTCA has given me a lot of mixed messages as to whether or not they will continue to treat me if I don't do EVERYTHING that is suggested so we will cross that bridge when we come to it. The step in front of us is to determine what God's plan is for me next.
Praise God that He holds it ALL, including the plan! We continue to praise God for His healing power on my life and cancer and for each of you who has chosen to walk through this with us. We are so thankful that we don't have to walk this alone. We love you.
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