Black Friday

Well, it sure does feel good to be home finally!  We did NOT join the craziness on black Friday and slept in until 7 am instead.  Yesterday was a different kind of black friday for our family.  We really had a rough day as a family.  Our girls are both upset with us for being gone and have started to act out since we've been back.  Yesterday was one of those challenging days of trying to help them heal and grieve and forgive us for having to be gone.  I don't know if this is a normal thing for all families but it is definitely normal for ours because of some of the abandonment our girls experienced before they came to us.  Jim and I both had a few moments yesterday of having to take deep breaths and try and really stretch our already thin patience level.

It was a rough day for Jim also in that he had a rough night the night before, wondering and worrying about what kind of treatment plan will they recommend for me and how will we manage it if I need to be in AZ for several weeks, what if they recommend something that we don't want to do, etc.  I just don't think it's even humanly possible to go through things like this without struggling w/worry and fear and without having to fight for peace.  I have a hard time, being a people-pleaser at heart, knowing that my cancer causes my girls and my family to worry.  To top it off, I'm having to accept help to get through this, which is very humbling, not just because I need the help but because people actually WANT to help.  That's a very new experience for us as well.  God has us in a MAJOR learning curve right now.  I'm so far out of my comfort zone, I don't even know where it is anymore.  The one thing we do know, though, is that God is faithful and He will walk us through this one step at a time.  Jim and I are both planners in different ways and we are both being FORCED to walk this step by step by step.  I KNEW something big was coming but I had no idea that this would be it.

In addition to getting caught up on some errands, I started cleaning out my cabinets in my kitchen.  I threw away old spices, cleaned out the remainder of any foods that do not fight cancer, cleaned cabinets and drawers and got started on cooking some food for the upcoming week.  It felt SO good to get more organized!  Today we're going to continue to do some cooking and cleaning and then put up our Christmas decorations w/the girls.  Over the next few days, I'm looking to replacing our cleaning supplies w/more natural solutions and getting these dangerous chemicals out of my kitchen and getting us back into our old routines.  If any of you are looking for good resources for organic cooking and cancer prevention, take a look at my book list to the right of the blog.  God has put a bunch of awesome resources across our path along these lines and I highly recommend all of these books.

This coming Wednesday, I fly back to AZ to have my incisions checked and meet with my oncology team to get my treatment plan and then fly back home for dinner.  Please continue to pray that God would turn my cancer benign and that there isn't any cancer in my lymph nodes.  Pray that we will have wisdom as we have to submit our insurance paperwork for this next year (due on Wed.) and need to make some decisions about flex plans, etc. without knowing what my treatment plan will be.  Pray that we will continue to grow in our faith and trust God with ALL of the details.  Pray for continued healing and recovery from the surgery.  we love you guys and are so thankful for you and your desire to walk this cancer journey with us.  May God richly bless each and every one of you and fill you with His presence and peace!